Have I failed?

For those of you who know me, either from my facebook posts, or in person, you know that my biggest dream was to return to New Zealand. Because there I felt the Heavenly Bliss and immortality.
I made a big mistake. I did not know that I have to apply for a visa, maybe because of what I did back in 2008 now I have to apply for a visa.
Now this is really bad. I also lost almost 3000 dollars over this.
I don't want to drown in despair, but this thing really pissed me off. I don't have much hope. But I still pray God has some good purpose or plan for me.
If you could pray for me please. I need to know where I stand. What will become of me. Where will we live.
I am grateful for my wonderful wife Mayeth, and our daughter Jane.
I just ask God to help me and reveal to me what is my purpose here, in this world.

This is a song that I made shortly after my rejection, and denial of entry, and after they lied about me in the official documents, blatant lies straight from the immigration or whoever the fuck wrote that shit.
So was I banned? Based on what? Is there a discrimination against people who have had problems with mental health? 

Joseph
11:11 AM crash and then after 3 weeks into Ward 11. What's with me and the number 11? damn it.. Gone in 60 seconds until I crashed the vehicle into the brick wall at a speed around 90 km/h without seat-belts or airbags.